If you’ve ever asked yourself this question — quietly, late at night, or after another “why did that just happen?” moment — you’re not alone.

A lot of people struggle with eating at different points in their lives. Stress ramps up. Schedules fall apart. Emotions get heavy. Food becomes comfort… or control… or something you think about far more than you want to.

And at some point, it’s natural to wonder:
Is this just a hard phase — or could this be binge eating disorder?

There’s no shame in asking. And there’s no rush to label yourself. Let’s talk it through.

First, a gentle truth: struggling with eating doesn’t mean you’ve failed

Many people experience periods where eating feels chaotic. That doesn’t automatically mean you have an eating disorder.

What usually raises concern isn’t one hard week or a few overeating moments — it’s when eating starts to feel out of control, emotionally draining, or repetitive in a way that’s hard to break.

Binge eating disorder (BED) is a recognized mental health condition, and it’s also the most common eating disorder. It affects people of all genders, ages, and body shapes — including people who look “fine” on the outside and function well in other areas of life.

What binge eating actually feels like for many people

People with binge eating disorder often describe binge eating episodes like this:

• Eating large quantities of food in a short period
• Feeling unable to stop eating, even when physically uncomfortable
• Eating quickly, automatically, or in secret
• Feeling numb or disconnected while eating
• Feeling intense guilt, shame, or self-loathing afterward

These episodes aren’t about being “too hungry” or lacking discipline. Many people binge even when they’re not physically hungry — often driven by emotional stress, anxiety, or uncomfortable feelings.

And binge eating disorder can vary. Some people binge daily. Others less often. Some binge on specific binge foods; others eat whatever is available. There’s no single way it has to look to be real.

Binge eating vs. overeating: a simple way to tell the difference

Almost everyone overeats sometimes. Holidays. Celebrations. Stressful days.

The difference usually comes down to control and distress.

• Overeating: “I ate more than I meant to.”
• Binge eating: “I felt unable to stop eating — and I felt awful afterward.”

If eating episodes start to occur regularly, feel secretive, or leave you feeling ashamed or stuck, that’s worth paying attention to.

Common signs people notice (before they ever seek help)

The symptoms of binge eating often show up in both eating behavior and mental health:

Eating habits & behavior

• Eating very fast or until painfully full
• Eating large amounts even when you’re not hungry
• Feeling trapped in cycles of “I’ll do better tomorrow”
• Avoiding meals with others or hiding food

Emotional and mental health signs

• Strong anxiety around food or eating decisions
• Low self-esteem tied to body shape or eating behavior
• Feeling out of control around certain foods
• Feeling like food is your main coping tool when emotions spike

Physical symptoms

• Digestive discomfort
• Low energy
• Weight changes (including weight gain, though not everyone experiences this)

BED can happen at any weight. Someone can have binge eating disorder and still be at a healthy weight — or not. Weight alone doesn’t define this mental illness.

How BED differs from other eating disorders

Binge eating disorder is different from bulimia nervosa and anorexia nervosa.

With BED, binge eating episodes are not followed by purging behaviors. People aren’t trying to “undo” the eating by vomiting or exercising excessively. That distinction matters — because treatment is different, too.

Why does binge eating disorder develop?

People often want a clear cause. The reality is more layered.

Binge eating disorder tends to develop from a mix of:

• Biology and how the brain responds to food cues
• Emotional stress, trauma, or chronic pressure
• Dieting or restriction that intensifies hunger and cravings
• Other mental health conditions like anxiety or depression
• Sometimes, family history

BED isn’t a personal failure. It’s how the brain and body adapt to repeated stress and cues over time.

If you’re in San Diego: what treatment can actually look like at CHEAR

If you’re in San Diego or nearby and thinking, “Okay… this sounds like me,” you don’t have to figure out next steps on your own.

At the Center for Healthy Eating and Activity Research (CHEAR) at UC San Diego, care is focused on helping people reduce binge eating and overeating in a way that supports real life — not rigid rules or shame.

What makes CHEAR’s approach different

Treatment at CHEAR isn’t about “just stop eating” or forcing control. Instead, it focuses on understanding why binge eating happens — and building practical skills to respond differently when it does.

CHEAR offers multiple ways to receive support, depending on what feels right for you:

• Outpatient group treatment at the La Jolla clinic for people who want structured, supportive care alongside others who understand what they’re going through
• An Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP) for adults and teens who need more consistent support during the week
• Individual therapy, which provides one-on-one support tailored to your specific eating patterns, triggers, and goals — and may include family involvement when helpful

One core approach used at CHEAR is Regulation of Cues (ROC) — a therapy model designed to help people notice and respond to internal cues (like hunger and fullness) and external cues (like highly craved foods or eating environments) without panic or loss of control.

Rather than avoiding food, ROC helps people practice eating in a way that reduces urgency, fear, and emotional spirals over time.

CHEAR also uses carefully guided exposure therapy, helping people gradually engage with foods or situations that feel overwhelming in a safe, supportive way — so food stops feeling like it has all the power.

“But what if I’m still not sure?”

That’s completely okay.

Many people don’t walk in certain. They just know:

• Eating feels harder than it should
• Food takes up too much mental space
• Shame or guilt keeps looping
• They want relief, not another reset

If that’s you, talking with a mental health professional about treatment options can help you understand what’s going on — without pressure to fit a label.

With the right treatment plan, binge eating disorder is absolutely treatable. And yes — full recovery is possible.

A gentle closing thought

If you’re asking this question at all, it’s because something inside you wants care — not criticism.

Whether you’re “just struggling” or experiencing binge eating disorder, support can help you feel steadier, calmer, and more at peace with food again.

And if you’re in San Diego, CHEAR at UC San Diego offers evidence-based, compassionate care designed to meet you where you are — no judgment, no pressure, and no requirement to have it all figured out.